Comrade Alert: The Grand Convergence of Chaos – "No ICE, No Kings, No Jews, No G-Strings" Summit (Half Joking, Fully Terrifying)

Dispatched from the frozen trenches of Zohranistan (ex-NYC), January 9, 2026, where the air is thick with mandatory equality and the faint scent of Soros's latest riot fire.

Comrades, brace yourselves: This weekend, January 10-11, the forces of Evil and the Absolutely Retarded are converging for the ultimate clown car convention – the "No Wars, No ICE, No Kings, No Jews, No G-Strings" Riots. (Half joking on the G-strings – maybe it's a typo for " because nothing says revolution like uncomfortable underwear, or perhaps it's anti-capitalist lingerie reform.

Who knows? These people are unhinged.) A secret gathering in some Midtown "people's forum" (catered by Singham's Shanghai slush fund), where the slogan morphs from the original poster's anti-war vibes into a full-on fever dream of exclusion. No ICE raids, no monarchs, no Jewish state (or Jews in general, apparently), and definitely no fun undergarments. It's like Coachella for cancel culture, but with more keffiyehs and fewer bathrooms.

The Historic First: The Red-Green-Blue Alliance Unleashed

For the first time ever, we're witnessing the unholy trinity: the Red-Green-Blue Alliance. Asra Nomani, the badass Muslim reformer and ex-Wall Street Journal reporter, has been dropping truth bombs on this for years in her book Woke Army: The Red-Green Alliance That Is Destroying America's Freedom (2023) and her Senate testimony. Red = the Marxist keyboard warriors from groups like DSA and ANSWER Coalition, hell-bent on smashing capitalism while living off billionaire handouts.

Green = the Islamist radicals from outfits like CAIR, AMP, and SJP, pushing jihad-lite under "social justice" cover, criminalizing gays and women while allying with anyone who hates Israel. Nomani's granular mapping exposes 1,500+ U.S. orgs in this ecosystem, funded by foreign cash (Singham's $20M+ CCP propaganda web, Soros's $32B lifetime empire) to radicalize campuses, streets, and schools. They invert morals, play victim, and bully reformers – Nomani herself got hunted by this "woke army" for daring to call out extremism.

But now, enter Blue: the self-loathing liberal Jewish wing (think progressive Dems and "anti-Zionist" Jews), adding their guilt-fueled glow-up to the mix. Groups like JFREJ and JVP provide the "Not In Our Name" cover, flipping Jewish voters while ignoring the green side's homophobia and misogyny. This weekend marks the alliance's debutante ball – reds bring the theory, greens the street muscle, blues the moral laundering. Nomani warns it's an "existential fight" against freedom, with foreign influence turning America into a hate factory. And in Zohranistan? It's peak form: Mamdani's mayoral machine unites them all for the first time, chanting against ICE, kings, Jews, and...? Half joking, but fully funded.

Who Are Some of the People Showing Up? (The Usual Suspects + Fresh Meat)

Expect a rogue's gallery: Zohran Mamdani (hosting as the golden boy mayor), Brad Lander (the "liberal Zionist" turned useful idiot, fresh off his JFREJ gala high-fives), Alicia Singham Goodwin (Singham's nepo-niece directing the Jewish vote flip), Manolo De Los Santos (Peoples Forum's Maduro fanboy, coordinating the red chants), Stefanie Fox (JVP's BDS queen, leading the "No Jews" vibes – wait, she's Jewish? Peak irony), and surprise guests like Hatem Bazian (SJP founder, green alliance OG per Nomani). Also, random DSA foot soldiers, CAIR reps, and maybe a Code Pink glitter-bomber for flair. It's the Avengers of Awfulness – first time reds, greens, and blues sync up for full-spectrum dominance.

JFREJ (Jews for Racial & Economic Justice – Code Name: "Guilt Laundromat Deluxe")

Survival Tip: If invited to their Mazals gala, bring earplugs – the self-flagellation speeches hit harder than a Singham wire transfer.

The mothership of NYC's Jewish Left, with 6,000 members turning Torah study into anti-Zionist therapy sessions. They oppose "anti-masking laws" as fascist (because nothing says justice like anonymous protests), get arrested blocking bridges for Gaza, and host galas honoring Mamdani and Lander like they're the new Moses and Aaron. Funded by Soros's OSF (hundreds of K via Tides/Rockefeller) and Singham family overlaps, they're the blue glue holding the alliance together – providing "Jewish" cover for green radicals while reds cheer. Nomani calls this the woke army's moral inversion HQ, where "social justice" cloaks hate.

"JFREJ? Jews for 'Regretting Everything Jewish'! Soros drops cash like manna, Singham's niece runs the show – it's like if we started 'Jews for Cocaine and Communism.' They'd honor us too!"

Known Crimes: Launching Jews for Zohran to flip voters; turning holidays into intifada rallies.
Weakness: Actual Orthodox Jews showing up and asking real questions.
How to Stay Alive: Clap at the gala, then "accidentally" spill borscht on the sign-up sheet.

Jews for Zohran (Code Name: "Astroturf Bar Mitzvah")

Survival Tip: Canvasser at your door? Offer challah and claim you're already "Zohran-pilled" – then lock the deadbolt.

JFREJ's electoral spawn, masterminded by Alicia Singham Goodwin to give Mamdani Jewish street cred. They hosted "Tot Shabbat" events (toddlers for socialism!), canvassed relentlessly, and helped flip 50%+ Jewish voters despite his pro-Palestine arrests.

First red-green-blue baby: reds (DSA endorsements), greens (Mamdani's anti-Israel stances), blues (Jewish "solidarity"). Nomani's research nails this as woke army tactics – using identity to shield extremism.

"Jews for Zohran? Straight out of 'Jews for Soros's but Singham stole the script."
Known Crimes: Moral laundering for the alliance; celebrating Mamdani's win as "Jewish victory" (lol).
Weakness: Exposure of Singham family ties.
How to Stay Alive: Fake a conversion to "Zohranism" – it's basically socialism with a yarmulke.

Alicia Singham Goodwin
Age: 29
Occupation: Head of "Grassroots" Organizing (Batteries Not Included—Runs on Uncle's Shanghai Bank Account)
Bio: Uncle gets filthy rich in capitalism, has a communist epiphany, moves to China, starts wiring millions to American radicals. Alicia takes the family hobby and turns it into "Jews for Zohran"—complete with toddler Shabbat events for a mayor who thinks October 7th was basically a rowdy demonstration. Has done: Convinced Jewish voters that foreign billionaire cash equals authentic community organizing. City now a financial dumpster fire, but hey, the nepo-revolution is fully funded.
Turn-ons: Wire transfers that somehow count as "people power," being called a "rising star" because of DNA.
Turn-offs: Pesky journalists asking where the money actually comes from.

Gustavo Gordillo
Age: Somewhere Between 1917 and Denial
Occupation: Co-Chair of "We Finally Won Power and Immediately Started Imploding"
Bio: Helped DSA conquer NYC, stuffed city hall with comrades, then watched membership and money evaporate faster than hope under socialism. Has done: Proved that revolutionaries are amazing at seizing power and hilariously bad at using it. City services collapsing, agencies paralyzed by ideology—mission accomplished!
Turn-ons: Long meetings about why decline is "strategic realignment," placing friends in jobs they're wildly unqualified for.
Turn-offs: Falling revenue charts, anyone whispering "Maybe we should focus on governing now."

Mahmoud Khalil

Age: 30 (But With the Legal Team of a Mafia Don Who Just Won the Lottery)
Occupation: Ex-Columbia Encampment Spokesperson Turned Full-Time "Political Prisoner" Brand Ambassador & Lawsuit Millionaire

Bio: The smooth, unmasked face of Columbia's 2024 Gaza takeover—lead negotiator for CUAD, bargaining with admins like he owned the campus. Then ICE grabbed him in March 2025 as Trump's shiny new "campus radical" scalp, green card yanked, 104 days in Louisiana detention (missed his baby's birth—maximum sympathy play). Has done: Fought deportation with 19 attorneys (that's more lawyers than John Gotti and O.J. Simpson combined—yes, really; Gotti had about 5-6 at peak, O.J. famously 7 in the trial). Released on bail in June after a judge called it unconstitutional speech punishment.

Slapped the Trump admin with a $20M claim for "false imprisonment," resumed rallies vowing endless disruption, now hobnobbing with Mamdani (who demanded his release first) while the city burns $4B+ on migrant hotels and services crumble. Part of the CUAD crew that praised Hamas "armed resistance" and refused to condemn violence, making Jewish students feel like intruders on their own campus. Peak irony: Turned a deportation scare into the most expensive legal circus ever, with more lawyers than actual mob bosses or celebrity murderers, all while doxxing vibes from the Mapping Project linger.

Turn-ons: Assembling a 19-lawyer dream team for a green card fight (because nothing says "oppressed" like out-lawyering Gotti), viral fist-raised release photos, $20M lawsuit clout after charges evaporate, being called a "symbol of resistance" while your coalition makes campuses hostile for half the students.

Turn-offs: Long-term consequences that actually stick, questions about why "free speech" needs 19 attorneys when Gotti and O.J. managed with fewer, anyone pointing out the irony of fighting deportation with more legal firepower than actual organized crime.

This is the modern activist fantasy: Campus takeover → federal detention → 19-lawyer legal army → judge sides with you → massive lawsuit → hero status → back to rallies like nothing happened. Swipe right if you love watching someone turn potential deportation into a career-defining flex with more attorneys than Gotti and O.J. combined. Swipe left if you think "resistance" shouldn't come with a lawyer count that makes mob bosses jealous.